TWOCEETWO '07 ♡

CHUCK NORRIS

1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, he has more money than you.

2. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

3. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

4. While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

5. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except
pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

6. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

7. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

8. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

9. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

10. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

6:29 AM

It has become apparent to me that no one is going to bother about Sir David Attenborough.

Maybe I should comment as someone more relevant, like Mark Zuckerberg.
For all the facebook addicts.

Or Simon Cowell.

I want to take up interpretive dance.

5:27 PM

Oh this is priceless.

5:58 AM

HELLO?! Does everyone really have nothing to comment about other than how alive this blog is?

Constructive comments, people! Not that I have said anything particularly constructive.

Wait, I have!

Come on, say something funny!

(I'm running out of steam, I can't talk about anything without revealing who I am, oh I am so depressed!)

That said, I now present something funny.

Okay I know it takes time to buffer/load/start to frickin' play, but it's kinda-midway-sorta funny.

So, does it tickle your funny bone? (ALL PUN INTENDED)

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

4:29 AM

Why do I suck lorXzZ!

Okay I don't feel like blogging here.

2:53 AM

WH-! (this is a splutter)

WHY!

I do not suck! D:

I regularly pull this blog from a cemetery of unwanted, neglected weblogs!

HI CHAI. I have also noticed that you're the only person visiting.

Welcome to this half dead site.

5:32 AM

I am from 2C2'07. Fortunately, I must add!

I should've known it wouldn't've been McCain.

Obama is so dapper, he's like, some kingpin.

Now that these troublesome elections are over, we can get to the really important stuff.

Like:

GUY RITCHIE GOT 150 MILLION POUNDS FROM HIS DIVORCE SETTLEMENT.

That could feed a small country for weeks! And weeks. And weeks.

Guy Ritchie is, doubtless, Heather Mills to the max. He just needs a prosthetic leg and he's complete, rich spouse and all.

I know I can say whatever I want in this godforsaken place because no human eyes will ever come to read it!

So, once again, hasta la vista to no one.

Postscript (Haha, I'm so pretentious): Comment if you read, so I feel less stupid.
And, OBAMA FRIES SOME McCAIN BALLZ,YO.

5:33 AM